Growing up is one of the weirdest, difficult, most rewarding experiences. Every single thing you do is part of growing up.
Think about it-no matter what you do, time keeps passing and we keep aging. There is no way to stop that or go back and change that, but that’s probably for the best. It’s only on certain occasions that I sit and look back on the time that has passed by me and it is those times that I think. I think a lot. I get upset, I get disgruntled. I focus on things that went wrong and things that could have happened and what-ifs. And you know what? Even after all that thinking, I always come to the conclusion that where I am now is exactly where I want to be and my past doesn’t belong with me now, except for the bits and pieces that have shaped and influenced who I am at this very moment.
I’ve lost friends, I’ve grown away from people, I’ve walked away from things that I once wanted so badly. I’ve lost a lot, but for everything I’ve left behind, I’ve gained something so much more valuable. I’ve learned so much in 18 years of life and when I get down on myself, I just remember all the experiences that have come out of such a relatively short period of time.
And life’s just like that; things are going to keep changing and time is going to keep passing by and I’m going to keep learning. It might not be the greatest joy at all times, but it’s life and I’m thankful to have that at least.
I’m thankful for the family that is actually still in my life, my small group of friends that have had my back since day one, my best friend that somehow manages to put up with all the highs and lows I encounter and deals with them right there next to me, the education I’m receiving, the people I’ve met (and all the people I have yet to meet), and every single breath I take.
I just sometimes really forget to live in the moment. I get really panicky and fail to appreciate what’s right in front of me. I always say that everything happens for a reason but sometimes I let my fears and doubts get in the way of that belief. Hey, I guess that’s because I’m still growing. We never stop growing.