From an Ending to a Beginning

Well, well, well, it’s been a little while since I’ve posted. I guess keeping a steady blog isn’t the easiest when juggling a job, school, newspaper, magazine, and leadership position…but nonetheless things have happened and writing is the one way I can sort myself out.

So here we go…My last post talked about my tattoo best friend that I no longer talk to. Yeah, that hiatus went on three months straight, about a month to a month and a half of which included me reaching out multiple times with not a single response. Eventually I cut her out of my life and put my time into things I love and my other friendships. It hurt, but I was able to deal.

As time passed, I would still stop and think about her and our memories fairly often but I knew that friendship was over so I brushed them off and went on with my own life. Three months and I am fine, doing amazing things and having a great time along the way; I am happy, I am carefree, and I am doing all the things I love. I hit a point where I was certain we were never going to speak again and I had even stopped thinking of what I would say if she ever tried to speak to me again.

That brings me to a few nights ago…

While spending some time hanging out around Detroit after shooting a concert of one of my favorite bands, my friend, my brother, and I decide to go get some food at a little taco joint downtown. I get out of the car, give my friend the money to put in the meter, and walk up to the restaurant. It’s at that moment that my brother comes inside to tell me someone is “here to see me”.

I turn around, face to face with my (ex) best friend, who had ran down the street the minute she noticed me, pushing my friend out of the way as she rushed into the restaurant. I, of course, get placed into a position of complete shock and confusion.

“I miss you,” she says, grabbing and giving me the hardest hug I have ever felt.

“You fucked me over a lot,” is all I can utter.

“I know,” followed by apologies and lots of near crying. I continue to stand still, only moving to grab her wrist when she sticks the “3005” tattoo up in the air.

Now, a few days have passed and pretty much everyone that knew about our falling out (if you can even call it that), knows about our encounter. The overwhelming reaction is that I should have just walked away and left it at that. I didn’t though. We got dinner and talked A LOT a few days later. I know that accepting someone back into my life that so easily left is a difficult decision. I know that I’m inviting myself to potentially get hurt again. I know I look stupid to the people that heard my crying over and over and over and over and over….again for months. I am well aware and not very receptive of the opinions anymore.

I guess it’s one of those things where I had to sit down and think. Oh and believe me, over the past three months I have done so much thinking. Our friendship ended at such a rough patch for me and I was completely lost for a good while. I didn’t have my best friend and nothing could seem to mend that. I was so dependent on having that one person fix me and they left. I think that point is so very important. I put all my happiness into a friendship and a person whose life was progressively getting a lot different than my own. After the initial pain of what happened, I picked myself up and made the best out of the situations I faced.

As we came back together a few days ago, I learned of a lot that she was going through while I talked about how the past few months of my life have been going. Though it hurt like hell to suddenly lose one of the most important people in my life, I don’t think that I would have been able to fix myself and find my own happiness had we been friends during that time period. Only recently have I been able to say that I am 100% satisfied with my life and who I am. And it is then that suddenly my best friend was back standing in front of me.

I may never truly know all the reasons for why it happened like it did but I can say that I do believe everything happened for a reason and something placed us both on that same street on that night, a night where I had just finished doing something I love and a night that I could find nothing wrong with my life.