There was a point where I let my closest friends walk all over me, believing their words over their actions and feeling I found the most amazing group of people to be surrounded by. A year ago I was lying on the floor screaming and crying about how one of those people kicked me to the curb with no explanation. Months ago I was crying while begging one of my close friends to speak to me or return my calls and text messages. I gave my all to people who sucked the life out of me and filled me with empty hope.
Today, I am talking to some of the most understanding and like-minded people I have ever met. I have found a tight knit group of friends in my program at school; they support my goals and ambitions. They understand my dreams and they have helped to build me up an immense amount thus far. I have advanced at the paper at school, meeting a group of outstandingly talented people. I can talk about what I hope for, what I fear, and where I want to be headed without feeling belittled, judged, or pushed down. I don’t feel like I am walking on glass, I don’t feel awful about myself when my words don’t come out right, and I can finally say I am completely happy. Healthy, supportive relationships are so important to our well-being. That being said, don’t go skimp on redeeming qualities in people just to have someone to hang around with. That person may be fun to spend time with for the time being, but they will eventually take their toll. Unfortunately, that toll isn’t even always evident.
It almost upsets me to look back and see that I accepted the treatment I was given by people I thought cared about me. I allowed myself to take the abuse of people that didn’t mean well all because I wanted friends to care about me like I loved them. I can’t really be hard on myself, though, because those experiences helped me to see what a healthy relationship consists of. The pain was necessary for the good to come out and truly make sense. Life isn’t set in stone even in the slightest. I fought the changes when they came, but giving in, I learned that there was much better out there, just beyond what I could see. We don’t know what this life holds and sometimes trying to control it completely will destroy us.
Embrace change in all aspects.
Change hurts, but there’s a cliche light at the end of the tunnel.