The Dream is Not Dead

Some days (okay, a lot of days lately), I wake up in a funk. I can’t seem to find any meaning in the mundane work, eat, sleep schedule. Between being caught in a minimum wage job that drains my energy to missing events because of that said job, it’s just not easy to feel like I’m making my dreams the reality I so need.

With those weights and constraints, I have got to keep focused. While my summer didn’t end up being what I expected, it had moments that weren’t short of wonderful and I can confidently say the dream that felt so dead just a couple months ago is alive. It took a lot of days of feeling down and out (hey, still having plenty of those days, but looking at the bright side and looking towards an amazing support system). It took days of doing what I love, seeing my work, writing some and remembering the feeling it gives me when the thoughts flow so effortlessly. It took a good conversation with an unexpected friend, plus conversations with the people that have been rooting me on from the start. I may not be at the top, but as I look around me, both figuratively and literally, I can say I am definitely not at the bottom. I have crazy dreams that people undoubtedly call me crazy for, I stay up late chasing and doubting those dreams, I have to clear my head at least a dozen times a day, but it is worth it. For the goals I have already achieved and what I wish to accomplish, this is worth it. Every single day of feeling worthlessness makes the days of feeling invincible and on top of the world worth it. It has been two years since this journey of mine began, and I can’t wish any of those past two years to be any different than they were. From the people I have met to the people I have lost, to the unbreakable bonds and incredible friendships that have come both out of the music industry, photography, and the journalism world, I have gotten my efforts back tenfold. Even if it takes me years and years to make the dream all that I want it to be, I have gained so much from the journey, that I’ve already made it. The dream was tossed to the side for a while, only for me to stop and realize mistakes were being made. To this summer, thanks for providing me with the wake up call that I really needed. I’m back and the dream is not dead.

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An open letter to the people that criticize my career choice

Your question came with innocence, but as soon as I smiled and said, “Journalism,” you frowned and shook your head, despite the look of pure happiness on my face. The reaction applies to so many people, but to top off that clear disapproval, you had to open your mouth to spew your unnecessary views, while prying into my life where your nose is not welcomed. You put me on the spot and essentially forced me to explain my entire life plan, with you rudely interrupting to remind me that I won’t have a job or how the medical field is a far better choice.

To you, to all of you that can’t seem to accept my area of study, firstly, it is not something for you to ACCEPT or even give a second thought. Do you go around and badger other strangers like you have to me? Are you finding the teenagers that are choosing not to attend college and telling them they are wrong, the way you tell me I am wrong for what I am going to school to study? If you don’t, what makes bothering me any different? Why do you not care to know what I have done in regards to journalism and public relations? Are you okay with lumping someone you don’t know into categories that were most likely presented to you by *gasp* a journalist? Yes, yes you are because you did EXACTLY that to me.

Did you attend college? Are you working in the medical field? Are you making a good amount of money that allows you to live a lofty lifestyle? If you are, cool, good for you, no need to tell me I will not. If you aren’t, wow, no judging from me. I suppose we are different.

You do not know me, you do not know what I have accomplished or the drive I am filled with or the amount of time and energy I devote to my future. You don’t know the deep passions I have. You can’t see my dreams. You don’t know what I love or what I fear. You don’t know what I want to get out of life. You haven’t experienced my life from the exact position I am in. Until you have, you have not a single right to tell me that I am going to fail. For what it’s worth, I might fail. I might not be employed after college. I might struggle to figure it out, but as that is all occurring, never once will I stop and think, “Wow, that random asshole at the grocery store was right.” So please, kindly take your opinions elsewhere, preferably far from college kids who already wake up with programmed thoughts that they aren’t making the right decisions. Your help is far from.

They Said

They said it was a stupid choice
They said I was wasting my brain

But how is it wasting to embrace your inner voice?

Doubtful a bit, I took the leap
Enrolled in classes and went along
Take a picture here, a picture there
Some pretty decent, but most nothing to keep

I wrote, I wrote till my fingers were stiff
Wrote about anything, anywhere
Notebooks, paper scraps, my laptop files filled

Never did I guess my camera and a pen
Would push me through a year in such an upward manner

They said it was a stupid choice
They said I was wasting my brain
I’m glad I never believed them then

Dreaming Big

Near the end of my senior year as college got closer, I got so many comments about how journalism was a bad career choice, how I won’t find a job, how it’s not worth it, how I should be a doctor or some other well paying health field job. Just recently someone I worked with enthusiastically asked me what I was studying. When I answered, her tone dropped and her only reply was, “oh.”

I’ll admit that I did let the doubts of others get to me. I considered changing my major, I looked into other majors, I tried to find one to switch to. I honestly could not find something that I could see myself doing for the rest of my life. I don’t want to be stuck in some job I’m unhappy with or couldn’t picture myself doing every day. Even just having a part time job has proved to me that I can never let my career be something I don’t fully enjoy doing.

So here we are. It’s only my second semester of college and I am one hundred percent certain that what I am doing is what I can see myself doing until I’m old and ready to retire. Even at that point, I don’t see myself ever not writing. Writing is my life, my motivation. These past few months have been crazy and I’m still pretty shocked at the way things have been going.

Since school started, I’ve been writing for the paper at my university. Through the paper,I obtained a press pass to interview and photograph the band Strange Talk. From that, I met a girl who runs her own online magazine and have recently started writing for that. I recently did a phone interview with the band Sleeper Agent to preview a concert for my school’s paper, as well as an email interview with another singer for the magazine. On top of that, today I set up interviews with Of Mice and Men and We Came as Romans to preview one of their shows.

It’s honestly all just sort of happened. I would have never pictured myself doing what I’ve been doing, but I absolutely love it. Music, writing, and photography mean so much to me, and to combine them all is amazing. This is only just the beginning and I couldn’t tell you where I may be years from now, but I can say that wherever it is, as long as I’m writing, I’ll be content.

 

Oh Journalism

Ah today is the day I actually get to write an article for my school’s paper. Now to most people that’s not a big deal, to me though…I’m excited. Journalism is my life, my motivation, what I’m spending loads of money to get better at. By writing today, I’m paving the way for future endeavors; stories that will take me places. For instance, the band interview I’m slated to do next month. Surely someone who’s never written for a publication would not be fit to carry out such work. Of course I did write for the yearbook in high school and was the editor-in-chief but it’s time to move on from that and start my work in college. I’m prepared, I’m eager, and I’m just a bit nervous, but I’m ready to make this happen and excited to see just how my work will turn out.

Writing, writing, and more writing: Story of my life.

Journalism journalism journalism. Since I started college, I feel like that’s all I think about. Written journalism, photojournalism, anything and everything journalism. Today we had a guest speaker that is a journalist in one of my (non journalism) classes. Everyone was oh so thrilled about that…but I honestly was. Writing is a passion of mine and it honestly seems like a dream job to write for a living. I feel like without writing, I would be so much less than what I am. I wouldn’t be as creative or expressive or opinionated. Writing is more that a hobby for me, it’s a lifestyle, and I hope one day I can use it to pay for my life as well. Okay just felt like writing (big surprise?) and journalism was the first thing that came to mind. Until later.