The Honest Truth

“I hope you find a way to be yourself someday. In weakness or in strength, change can be amazing.”

These lyrics blasted during an hour and a half car ride to see The Neighbourhood with tickets that I won for me and my best friend. These lyrics blasted in my bedroom and my kitchen and my car and everywhere else. While the song was always playing during happy moments and lighting up the summer, the feelings shifted and the meaning of the song became stronger than ever.

It is so hard to watch people you love go down destructive paths, paths that you cannot help them on. It’s hard to be pushed away by the ones you love. It’s so damn hard to not be able to save them. It’s the worst becoming second to a harmful lifestyle. Plenty of songs have jerked memories out of me but no other song, no other lyrics hit me harder than those in “Honest”. Knowing that someone you care about could be in danger, could be dead and there’s absolutely nothing you can do but hope for the best…that’s the worst.

“I pray for the best for you.”

So that’s what you do…you pray and you turn on a song, a song that makes you feel great and awful all at the same time and you cry and ponder and beat yourself up over what you can do to help that person.

The song that was a song to listen to with someone became a song to listen to while wondering how that person was doing, wondering if they were alive, wondering how things were working for them, wondering what in their life has changed.

It never was an easy song to listen to, but it was never a painful experience either. Even now, knowing that things are fine, it still hits me and it still brings me back to those late summer nights, glued to the phone to at least hear that you are okay. I don’t know if I seem like a dramatic weirdo…but it’s just so damn difficult knowing that someone you love has taken a turn for the worst and there is not a single thing you can do about it but cry to a song you both loved.

Music is so powerful in that way. Liking a song is completely different than feeling a song. A song can make you the happiest and the saddest at the same time, bringing back all the great moments while reminding you of things that have forever changed. It’s so hard to listen to a song that you can feel. But if you find a song that you can truly feel, wow does it sure become the best possible thing. It becomes a medicine for the things that are taunting and bothering you. It gives you a release. It fixes those sad little moments inside of you. A song that you can feel, those are the songs that change you life, and hey, change can be amazing.